Orlando's Onomatopoiea

STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP dad was stomping down the hallway. He was shocked to see my room like it was.
"Clean your room Orlando" Dad demanded.
My room was so messy you couldn't even see the BED! 
It took me like half a day to put away my clothes and move all of the rubbish. When we were finished my cousin gave me a fidget spinner, $20 and a pie.

Comments

  1. Anonymous12 June 2017 at 15:44

    Hi Orlando,
    I liked how your dad was STOMPING down the hall way and you had to clean up your room,I wish my cousin would do the same but no.
    Do you like fidget spinners?
    By:Rosalia

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous12 June 2017 at 15:56

    Hi. My name is David do you get lots off stuff for cleaning your room. So whos your cousins name.I have a fidget spinner aswell?

    By David

    ReplyDelete
  3. B714 June 2017 at 15:09

    one is 15 his name is chance his brother


    is 17 his name is kelly and yes I have 6 fidget spinners it was kind of fun cleaning my and tormorrow im going to australia.




    ReplyDelete
  4. B11 Finlayson Park School6 August 2017 at 18:53

    B11 FPS Grace
    Kia Ora Orlando, I like your story about your room because the floor in my room is sometimes messy as well. It takes me about a whole day to clean my room.

    ReplyDelete
  5. B11 Finlayson Park School7 August 2017 at 17:05

    B11 FPS Kaea
    Hi Orlando, I was so pleased to read your story because I have never heard a great hook at the start of a story like yours. I really like the part when your cousin in the story gave you free stuff. What part did you like about your story?

    ReplyDelete

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